[Choose your film or view the full sound archive below]


John Larroquette: Opening Narration
The Flashbulb sound
The Graverobbing news report
Drunk: "Things happen hereabout...they don't tell about..."
Pam: "Condition of retrogradation is contrary or inharmonious...and is in that respect evil..."
Franklin: "Now they got this big air gun...shoots a bolt into their skull then retracts it..."
Pam: "Long range plans and upsetting persons around could make this a disturbing, unpredictable day..."
Hitchhiker: "You like head cheese? My brother makes it real good!"
Cook: "You boys don't wanna go messin' around no old house..."
Franklin (mocking Sally): "Come on Franklin, it's gonna be a fun trip..."
Franklin: "If I have anymore fun today, I don't think I'm gonna be able to take it..."
Jerry: "It's the mark of Zorro...he's gonna get you!"
Cook: "Look what your brother did to the door!"
Hitchhiker: "I thought you was in a hurry!"
Hitchhiker: "You're nothin...He's just a cook!"
Cook: "Shut up you b*tch hog!"
Hitchhiker: "Me and Leatherface do all the work..."
Cook: "Shut your mouths!"
Cook: "I just can't take no pleasure in killin..."
Hitchhiker: "Hey Grandpa, we're gonna let you have this one!"
Cook: "Why, old Grandpa's the best killer there ever was..."
Cook: "It won't hurt a bit..."


Don LaFontaine: Opening Narration
Stretch: "This is Stretch on river rock and roll..."
Lefty: "Hell...Hell's exactly what they raised..."
Cook: "I got a real good eye for prime runs in the family..."
Cook: " of those hardshell peppercorns..."
Cook: "We're number one...the Sawyer's are number one!"
Chop-Top: "To a far-out fan!"
Chop-Top: "Look what you did to my Sonny Bono wig!"
Chop-Top: "Hey, lick my plate, you dog dick!"
Chop-Top: "Time for incoming mail!!!"
Stretch: "How good are you?"
Chop-Top: "Did you get her, Bubba? Did you get that b*tch?!"
Chop-Top: "A bonus body!!!"
Lefty: "Lord, help me beat this stranger that walks beside me..."
Lefty: "It's the devil's playground..."
Cook: "Look what your brother's done now!"
Lefty: "I'll take you back to hell...I'll take you to hell!"
Cook: "You've got one choice, or the saw..."
Cook: "Sex is, uh, nobody knows...but the saw...the saw is family!!!"
Cook: "Bubba's got something to show ya here...look...a slurpee booty!"
Lefty: "I'm the Lord of the Harvest!"
Chop-Top: "It's like death eatin' a cracker, isn't it?!"


Ed Green: Opening Narration
Ryan: "Welcome to the real world're gonna have to live in it no matter where you run..."
Alfredo: "I'm gonna service you real good, m'am...don't you worry about it..."
Tex: "There's roadkill all over Texas...the natural order of things..."
Ryan: "We're being hunted!"
Benny: "We're almost home, Lucille..."
Sara: "They hunt people...they really hunt them...they trap them...and they kill them..."
Little Girl: "Yakety-yak...don't talk back!"
Tex: "How you like Texas?"
Little Girl: "If you don't poke them, then they don't leak...and we can't feed Grandpa...silly..."
Tinker: "Technology is our friend..."
Benny: "What are you people doing out here???"
Tinker: "All we need now is a good mess of greens..."
Mama: "Junior likes them private parts..."
Mama: "We knows what to do with them parts..."
Tex: "And if you need anything...just twitch..."
Tinker: "Go get the meat!!!"
Michelle: " and me then, huh? You sick f*cker!!!"
Benny: "You ever heard of pizza???"
Tinker: "She looks to me like she might go all screamy on us, Eddie..."
Alfredo: "It's knock-knock time in Lubbock...and I'm back!"
Michelle: "There's roadkill all over Texas..."


Fred Ellis: Opening Narration
Barry: "Guys need sex, ok? You can get prostrate cancer..."
Darla: "They're always doing something to get me to flash 'em..."
Vilmer: "Boy's dead..."
Vilmer: "Alright racing fans, here...we...go!"
W.E.: "I propose to fight it out on this line, if it takes me all summer..."
W.E.: "Among other evils that being unarmed brings causes you to be despised..."
Vilmer: "You gotta watch getting into cars with strangers these days..."
Vilmer: "Just to let ya know it ain't Saturday morning cartoons, if you know what I mean..."
Jenny: "No...he's out there with a chainsaw!"
W.E.: "It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end..."
W.E.: "Look what your brother did to this door..."
Vilmer: "Let me ask you one question...are you having fun yet?"
Darla: "Don't you let him get to you...'casue that's what he wants..."
Vilmer: "I've got a slit your goddamn throat!"
Vilmer: "Pop goes the weasel!"
Vilmer: " my world!!!"
W.E.: "No discipline...that's the values have gone straight to hell..."
Jenny: "The only reason for any of this is that he's a psycho and gets off on it..."
Jenny: "If you're gonna kill me, then do it!"
Rothman: ""
Rothman: "I want these people to know the meaning of horror..."


John Larroquette: Opening Narration
The Flashbulb sound
Morgan: "32,000 Americans each day are infected with a sexually-transmitted disease..."
Erin: "Hey...are you okay???"
Morgan: "Kemper, didn't your mother ever tell you not to pick up hitchhikers?"
Teenage Girl: "The bad man...he's really bad..."
Teenage Girl: "You're going the wrong way!"
Teenage Girl: "You're all gonna die!"
Andy: "I guess that's what brains look like...sorta like lasagna..."
Luda Mae: "Young man...what you do is your own business..."
Monty: "Do I look like a sheriff?"
Sheriff Hoyt: "I got just as much respect for a dead body as anybody around here..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "Protect and's what we do..."
Pepper: "I happen to like my teeth right where they are..."
Monty: "What the hell are you doing in my house?"
Monty: "You're so dead you don't even know it..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "I smell bullsh*t..."
Sheriff Hoyt: " afraid of a little blood?"
Erin: "That's not your stole her!"
Luda Mae: "You best stay out there with them dogs...till you learn how to play by the rules..."
Luda Mae: "I know your kind...nothing but cruelty and ridicule for my boy..."
John Larroquette: Closing Narration


Supervisor: "What are you still doing here? Go home, we're out of business!"
Eric: "This is how you sneak up on them...and you catch 'em...the gooks in the swamp..."
Chrissie: "You know what I think is patriotic? Me driving you across state to go to Vietnam...again..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "He ain't retarded...he's misunderstood..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "I think we've got a problem, sheriff..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "Sh*t, I just killed the whole f*&%in' sheriff's department..."
Sheriff Hoyt's dinner speech
Eric: "You'd be amazed at the things you can get used to..."
Monty: "Pretty little roscoe, ain't ya?!"
Sheriff Hoyt: "My daddy always told me that if you want to be a good farmer, you've gotta keep your livestock clean..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "There ain't nothin' I hate worse than a draft-dodging, hippie protestor..."
Luda Mae: "I never had me a little girl..."
Monty: "I didn't do it!"
Luda Mae: "What did you do that for?"
Sheriff Hoyt: "Balance..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "I'll have momma throw out another plate for can stay?"
Luda Mae: "I wonder whose tongue this is?"
Chrissie: "Do you guys f*&% all your cousins, or just the ones you find attractive?!"
Luda Mae: "I will not have you speak ill of this family!"
Luda Mae: "Take a gotta have something to build up your strength..."
Sheriff Hoyt: "There comes a time when every boy becomes a man..."
Luda Mae: "Can't you see?? Your friend ain't with us no more..."
John Larroquette: Closing Narration


Drayton: "He was protectin' the house...the family..."
Boss: "Give 'em the boy...he's simple anyway..."
Burt: "Eye for an eye, sheriff...can't get around the good book..."
Heather: "I just want to know where I came from...and who I came from..."
Kenny: "I don't mind driving to Texas...I hear they got a great Bar-B-Que..."
Darryl: "Family's a messy business...ain't nothin' thicker than blood..."
Darryl: "Yeah, I'm a regular boy scout..."
Burt: "Me and your family go way back..."
Nikki: "Welcome to Texas, motherf*cker!!!"
Marvin: "A chainsaw don't make you bulletproof..."
Marvin: "Ladies makeup? What a fruitcake..."
Farnsworth: "A grown man...huge, but mentally stunted...with the emotions of an eight-year-old..."
Farnsworth: "Nobody loves you like your family, I guess..."
Heather: "I'm a Sawyer..."
Carl: "You should feel right at home at this nasty place...your family used to work this sh*thole..."
Heather: "Do your thing, cuz..."
Sheriff Hooper: "Can't get around the good book, Burt..."
Verna: "He's family-bound, and will protect you...he simply requires your care in return..."
Verna: "You're a Sawyer, and this is home..."
Verna: "'s your time..."


The Flashbulb sound
Verna: "Drayton, where are your manners? Give the first piece to the thief..."
Verna: "It's's always here for you...remember that..."
Betty: "It's just a kid..."
Hal: "You take one of mine...I take all of yours, Verna..."
Dr. Lang: "Even though you married into are still hillbilly trash..."
Isaac: "Hey, hop in, stupid...I owe you one..."
Isaac: "Do that again...I'll turn you into strawberry pie..."
Isaac: "Anyone bolts...and everyone dies..."
Hal: "This ain't the work of a confused child...this is evil..."
Clarice: "He's got a gun...let's start some sh*t up!"
Jackson: "You know, I wish I was somebody else..."
Isaac: "Bud, you're an idiot and a fool and I don't know why God bothered to make you..."
Clarice: "You ain't're just a sad old man...crying over a stupid dead little girl..."
Hal: "It's called justice, boy..."
Hal: "I know you Sawyers all travel in where they at?!"
Verna: "I got somethin' that will jog his memory..."
Hal: "This ain't over, boy...g*ddamnit!"
Verna: "You show 'em who you are, Jed..."
Lizzy: "This isn't you,'s your crazy mother!"
Verna: "That's my done good, Jed..."

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