John Larroquette: Opening Narration

The Flashbulb sound

The Graverobbing news report

Drunk: "Things happen hereabout...they don't tell about..."

Pam: "Condition of retrogradation is contrary or inharmonious...and is in that respect evil..."

Franklin: "Now they got this big air gun...shoots a bolt into their skull then retracts it..."

Pam: "Long range plans and upsetting persons around could make this a disturbing, unpredictable day..."

Hitchhiker: "You like head cheese? My brother makes it real good!"

Cook: "You boys don't wanna go messin' around no old house..."

Franklin (mocking Sally): "Come on Franklin, it's gonna be a fun trip..."

Franklin: "If I have anymore fun today, I don't think I'm gonna be able to take it..."

Jerry: "It's the mark of Zorro...he's gonna get you!"

Cook: "Look what your brother did to the door!"

Hitchhiker: "I thought you was in a hurry!"

Hitchhiker: "You're nothin...He's just a cook!"

Cook: "Shut up you b*tch hog!"

Hitchhiker: "Me and Leatherface do all the work..."

Cook: "Shut your mouths!"

Cook: "I just can't take no pleasure in killin..."

Hitchhiker: "Hey Grandpa, we're gonna let you have this one!"

Cook: "Why, old Grandpa's the best killer there ever was..."

Cook: "It won't hurt a bit..."

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