Supervisor: "What are you still doing here? Go home, we're out of business!"

Eric: "This is how you sneak up on them...and you catch 'em...the gooks in the swamp..."

Chrissie: "You know what I think is patriotic? Me driving you across state to go to Vietnam...again..."

Sheriff Hoyt: "He ain't retarded...he's misunderstood..."

Sheriff Hoyt: "I think we've got a problem, sheriff..."

Sheriff Hoyt: "Sh*t, I just killed the whole f*&%in' sheriff's department..."

Sheriff Hoyt's dinner speech

Eric: "You'd be amazed at the things you can get used to..."

Monty: "Pretty little roscoe, ain't ya?!"

Sheriff Hoyt: "My daddy always told me that if you want to be a good farmer, you've gotta keep your livestock clean..."

Sheriff Hoyt: "There ain't nothin' I hate worse than a draft-dodging, hippie protestor..."

Luda Mae: "I never had me a little girl..."

Monty: "I didn't do it!"

Luda Mae: "What did you do that for?"
Sheriff Hoyt: "Balance..."

Sheriff Hoyt: "I'll have momma throw out another plate for can stay?"

Luda Mae: "I wonder whose tongue this is?"

Chrissie: "Do you guys f*&% all your cousins, or just the ones you find attractive?!"

Luda Mae: "I will not have you speak ill of this family!"

Luda Mae: "Take a gotta have something to build up your strength..."

Sheriff Hoyt: "There comes a time when every boy becomes a man..."

Luda Mae: "Can't you see?? Your friend ain't with us no more..."

John Larroquette: Closing Narration

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